Summer self-regulation for yourself and the kids
By Jessica Carson, LMHC
It’s almost school break and summertime! Do you or a loved one ever struggle with burnout, feeling exhausted with trying to manage work, and kids and balancing our mental wellness and responsibilities? I’m here to tell you are not alone. Trying to find balance as a parent, partner, single parent, whatever life stressors are present and as an individual can feel so daunting! I am a single mom who has felt in a rut and so drained that it can sometimes feel debilitating. Summertime can introduce extra stress with balancing work and parenting but is also a time to be more intentional as a parent dealing with stress management. I’m here to provide tips, resources, and activities that can help reduce these stressors and help you feel more whole, balanced, and connected with yourself and your family.
Just like we often go to the doctor when we are physically unwell, prioritizing our mental well-being is equally as important. This may include going to therapy and practicing strategies, skills, and techniques to gain mental fortitude of emotional mastery. The mind-body connection is pivotal to obtaining whole-body wellness. Our bodies tell us what we need through sensations and somatic responses (physical manifestations). Have you ever felt tense, muscle pains, headaches, digestive distress, nausea, jaw pain (TMJ), fatigue, chest pain, dizziness, difficulty sleeping, irritability, and restlessness? These may be signs that we are in burnout mode and need to regulate our nervous system!
Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes can positively or negatively affect our physical health and vice versa. What we eat, how much we exercise, our breathing, and our posture can impact our mental health. This is the relationship between our mind and body.
Some techniques that can help create this balance are breathwork, meditation, and grounding. Let’s explore each of these!
editation
There are numerous types of breathing and meditation. Some beginner exercises are Diaphragmatic Breathing and square breathing. These exercises help to reduce anxiety, lower your heart rate and blood pressure, and reduce stress hormones.
Diaphragmic Breathing (Belly Breathing):
Place one hand on your upper chest and the other just below your rib cage. This will allow you to feel your diaphragm (belly) move as you breathe.
Breathe slowly through your nose so that your stomach fills with air and you feel the inhale with your hand. The hand on your chest should remain as still as possible, remember we want the belly to expand
Slowly exhale through your mouth
Square Breathing:
Inhale for a count of four through your nose
Hold your breath for a count of four
Exhale for a count of four through the mouth
Repeat steps 2–4 three more times
We can even do breathing with our kids to help them regulate their emotions! The more we practice regulating ourselves, the better modeling we can teach our kids. If they see a parent able to manage their emotions through healthy outlets, they will start to mirror these behaviors, and we all want our kids to be healthy! Big emotions are completely normal, and it’s okay to feel upset, angry, sad, and overwhelmed. So how do we teach our kids how to manage these emotions? Kids can do breathing with us. Some easy techniques are Candle breathing (belly breathing) and Dragon Breathing, because what kid doesn’t like pretending to be a dragon?
Dragon Breathing:
This involves taking a deep breath through the nose and then forcefully exhaling through the mouth while making a "ha" sound. The goal is to make the exhalation look like a dragon breathing fire, or like fogging up a mirror. Youtube has some great videos teaching these skills as it is one of my go-to.
YouTube: Dragon Breathing Exercise for Kids | Yoga for Kids | Yoga Guppy by Rashmi Ramesh
Candle Breathing (Belly breathing) for Kids:
Imagine a birthday candle. Take in a deep breath through the nose and then exhale through the mouth to blow out the candle.
Here’s a great video to do with your kids for practice of belly breathing
Youtube: Candle Breathing! Quick Breathing Exercise To Help Kids Learn To Self-Regulate Big Emotions!
Mindfulness Meditations help you focus on being intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.
Some great exercises can be found at: https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindfulness-getting-started/
Ground techniques also help to calm the mind and body by shifting focus from past or future thoughts to the present moment. One technique is called 5-4-3-2-1 which is great for adults and kids. It involves identifying five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
Physical grounding involves connecting your skin to the earth, such as by walking barefoot in sand, grass, or mud, lying on the ground, splashing water on your face, holding ice and things that involve touch, playing with sand, a fidget toy, etc.
A great grounding activity for kids is the category game. Pick a category, it could be animals, cars, colors, or movies, and list out everything you can think of in the category. This helps shift our minds from uncomfortable feelings and thoughts.
There are so many different types of mindfulness skills that can improve our focus and shift our perspective to a place of acceptance and gratitude. If you have struggled with feeling overwhelmed, stressed, disconnected, or constantly on edge these are all great skills you can add to your toolbox!
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